like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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