Duck Duck Cougar?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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