you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
