I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
