you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
