JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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