He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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