I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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