I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
