i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
