It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
