worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
