I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
