You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
