Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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