As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
