keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Are we still banned from the library?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Randomize
