Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
