Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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