i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
