It's Friday. Sex?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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