I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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