Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
