I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
