do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
