can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
