As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize