I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize