the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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