U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
