This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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