brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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