No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
