I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize