i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
