I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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