Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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