Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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