matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
dude. I can hear the air.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
