Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
