I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
