whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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