I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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