I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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