im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
