Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
