I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
