Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
