Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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