Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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