I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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