Got a toothbrush?
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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