that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
