Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
