I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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