Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
