Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
