You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
