Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
