I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize