he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
