Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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