I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
