when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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