Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
