I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
