But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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