You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
