I bet he comes in French.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
