he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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