Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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