he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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