chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
