You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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