and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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