I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
