I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
