I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
